A Junior High Journal

Memoir · humor · junior high, unfortunately

I'm Still Cringing

Blue rubber girdle phase. Hallway crush you’d deny under oath. Puberty barging in without knocking. Three years I still haven’t forgiven.

Author

By Patty LaNoue Stearns

Where to buy About the book Watch trailer
Cover mockup: I'm Still Cringing: A Junior High Journal by Patty LaNoue Stearns
Lockers & hallway crushes Gym class survival Sounds like your old diary Vintage snapshots Cringe, then laugh Gets passed around Three wild years

Watch the trailer

Lockers, hallway crushes, gym class, and the kind of junior high chaos you still feel in your bones. Press play when you’re ready to cringe.

About the book

Bad outfits, worse calls, and the photos nobody glued in the yearbook. She writes it like she remembers it: fast, plain, and trying to get the joke in before she chickens out.

The voice

Little scenes, muttered asides, and every so often a soapbox moment nobody asked for. It’s the kind of book where you forget a total stranger might be reading. If you ever faked a stomachache to dodge gym, or cried in the cafeteria bathroom, you’ll catch yourself nodding.

One minute you’re in a hallway, the next you’re at the dinner table, then you’re staring at a doodle in the margin. Real memory doesn’t bother with clean chapter breaks.

  • Most pieces are short. Read a couple waiting in the car or in line at the post office.
  • When something mortifying happens, she stays right there in it; when she backs off, you can tell.
  • The jokes are at the situation, gym, rules, and hair, not at kids for being kids.
  • Drawings and cutlines feel like a yearbook someone actually filled out honestly.

Grab a few pages, close the book, come back later, same as thumbing through an old photo box.

The vibe

Warm paper, class pictures, headlines that sound like the PA coughing to life in the hall. You’ll swear you’re doing “just one more” and then it’s way past when you meant to stop.

The reader

Moms and daughters, book groups, or that friend who still brings up dodgeball at parties. Somebody’s going to quote a line out loud at the worst possible moment.

Inside the book

Need this for a club, a class, or a birthday? Below is the no fluff version of what it looks like, how it sounds, who usually grabs it, and what it’s actually about.

Format

Short entries, messy captions, snapshots that look like they tumbled out of a shoebox. Think yearbook layout with nobody policing the honesty.

Tone

Funny on purpose; straight talk when the moment needs it. The laugh is at the awkward bit, not at whoever’s stuck in it.

You’ll want this if

You run a club, teach middle school, need a gift for someone who actually finishes books, or you still know your old locker combo and wish you didn’t.

Themes

Friends who drift, bodies that change faster than your mood, assemblies, family dinners, first crushes, the usual junior high parade, told without sanding off the edges.

Details

Page count, trim, ISBN, pub date. We’ll drop those in here as soon as the printer and the house stop moving the goalposts.

What readers say about I’m Still Cringing

Early readers, journalists, teachers, and friends who lived through junior high right alongside her.

“What struck me from the beginning that makes your memoir different from others I’ve read is that you don’t brag. Unless it’s about shoplifting. I waited and sure enough, justice was served. I really enjoyed your book. Along the way, I learned a bit about what it’s like to be a girl.”

Joel Thurtell, author and investigative journalist

“I didn’t want it to end. It took me on a coaster ride with you through those challenging years. It took guts to write your book and courage to be so vulnerable!! Excellent.”

Mark Scodellaro, teacher, California

“Still laughing!”

Derrick Vennard, hair stylist, West Bloomfield, MI

“I just finished reading your lovely, funny, touching memoir. I was a few years behind you in school but you resurrected SO many memories for me! Congratulations on your book—truly took me back!”

Cynthia Bruce Canty, retired radio host, Bloomfield Hills, MI

“I’m still laughing! Kudos, my friend. I don’t dare write about junior high.”

Rebecca Reynolds, producer, actress, writer, Leland, MI

“What a wonderful and entertaining read! Patty unleashes all the emotions and crazy tales that have been bottled up inside since her junior high years. As a man, I related very easily to all the feelings of awkwardness Patty is able to convey in those formative years.”

Joe Borri, Michigan artist and author

“Patty LaNoue Stearns has written the most hilarious memoir about her travails in junior high school. Omg, you have to read it. I am waiting for it to be turned into a TV series or movie. Who knew that sweetheart was such a bad girl?”

Jane Snow, food journalist, Ohio

“Pure, enviable badassery. Smoking, shoplifting, kissing boys she wanted to kiss… This book delighted me. Funny, but fraught with growing pains. Puberty. Painful periods. Having to deal with her family’s move to a small town. Finding her way. Forging a strong identity in the midst of it all during the minefields of Becoming.”

Jude Ockerman, poet, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI

“What a smooth, engaging read about a time in our Boomer girl’s lives we’d likely rather forget. When’s the movie?”

Carol Teegardin, journalist, author, actor and theatrical producer, Royal Oak, MI

“Wow! What a great book! I laughed—out loud! So many times throughout the book. I cried—literally! At least twice. I sometimes cringed right along with the author. It’s a rare writer who can be so funny, and also write so movingly about the awkward and the tragically sad aspects of life. Engaging and beautifully written—the book will stay with you long after you turn the last page.”

Janelle Ettema, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, Michigan

“Very entertaining! Very funny, insightful, relatable, and a wee bit cringy at times, but utterly delightful.”

Sheryl B., jewelry artisan, Michigan

“Laughing, loving, and cringing: Maneuvering through life with all its yearnings, hazards, insecurities, and loss, this writer has made all of this a bit easier for us to swallow. We are truly not alone. But it’s all combined with the little joys that push us through; friendships, the excitement of new love, the naughtiness that we get away with (much of the time!), and travel to explore, if only the shops on Woodward Avenue in Detroit. Thank you for the joy reading your book has given me!”

Marcia K. Hales, artist and author, Grosse Pointe Woods

“Good times! What a fun book! Patty tells all, and all of us can relate. I’d forgotten about Dippity-Doo and those orange juice can rollers and sneaking cigs in the bathroom, but enjoyed laughing at the memories. Love it, a trip down memory lane for sure. Thanks for writing it.”

Diane O'Bannon, artist, California

“The book is wonderful! Brings back memories! I laughed and sang the songs! Great read!”

Margery Krevsky Dosey, owner, Productions Plus national talent staffing agency, Michigan

“I loved it! Although I sometimes had to stop and sing the song that framed the story!”

Carole Leigh Hutton, retired Detroit Free Press editor and publisher

I'm Still Cringing the details

The nutshell version of the book, who usually likes it, and how to buy it, all in one place so you don’t have to scroll forever.

Front cover: I'm Still Cringing: A Junior High Journal by Patty LaNoue Stearns

Memoir, humor, growing up, with pictures and captions

I'm Still Cringing

A Junior High Journal

Lockers, dumb crushes, regular school days, the way you actually remember them: in chunks, with no varnish, and pictures to prove it. Hard numbers live under Inside the book once they’re nailed down for real.

  • For clubs, mother daughter pairs, anyone who still flinches at the word “president’s fitness test.”
  • Pacing is bite size, so you can stop after one piece; odds are you won’t.
  • Humor roasts the moment, not the thirteen year old in the middle of it.
Order this title Format & themes

Next from Patty

When there’s another book worth talking about, this spot gets the cover, who’s publishing it, and when you can actually buy it.

Cover Artwork to be added

Next project, still under wraps

Next title

Subtitle and imprint to be announced

When there’s a real cover, a real date, and copy that isn’t just placeholder, it’ll go right here. No point in faking it until then.

  • Status Still cooking. No sale date to share yet.
  • Back cover / catalog That language shows up with the title announcement. We don’t have it to paste in early.
  • Who’s waiting Folks who liked this one and will read whatever she does next.
Rights & inquiries All order links
Patty LaNoue Stearns

About the author

Patty LaNoue Stearns

Patty writes like she’s telling you a story over coffee, plain words, punch lines that show up on time, and enough softness that the barbs don’t curdle. Junior high wasn’t field work. It was forged notes, unfortunate bangs, and everything the yearbook committee politely ignored.

Press, school visits, random questions. There’s a contact block below. She answers when life allows; book tour and deadline weeks can make the inbox ugly.

Book clubs & classrooms

Half the room says “that was me” before the first stretch break. The jokes skewer gym class and rules, not kids, so the conversation doesn’t turn mean.

Discussion sparks

  • Which part made you laugh first, and which one made you hide the book from your kid?
  • What does this cut and paste format get you that a normal memoir shape doesn’t?
  • What dumb rule from junior high still shows up at work or at Thanksgiving?

For educators

Pairs fine with units on memoir, voice, or point of view. Puberty and hallway drama are right there on the page. Give it the same read through you’d give any frank teen book before you hand it out.

Ask about a visit or a discussion packet. Spring and fall get weird; email is the least annoying way to check the calendar.

FAQ

The usual suspects: readers, people running rooms, teachers, folks trying to buy a stack.

Is this book only for people who went to junior high in a certain era?

Not really. Decades swap out the hair and the playlists; embarrassment is embarrassment. If you’ve ever ducked someone in a hall or pretended you had PE under control, you’ll know the map.

Is there difficult content?

Growing up is on the page straight on: bodies, friends, school, in a blunt funny way, not a preachy one. With younger kids or a touchy group, skim a chapter yourself first, or email and ask for a plain rundown.

Can I book Patty for an event or interview?

Usually, if the calendar isn’t packed. Hit contact, put Event or Press in the subject, and toss a couple of date ranges that work for you.

Do you offer bulk or signed copies?

Maybe. Depends what’s in the warehouse and whether a signing’s on the books. Send how many you need, where they should land, and when, to the same address as everything else on this page.

Get the book

Those buy buttons will point at this title for real once the listings exist. For a big stack, a signed pile, or anything weird, email still wins.

Amazon Bookshop Email the author

Contact

Events, press, rights, bulk, or “I loved this bit,” same email. A subject line that says what you want cuts down on the back and forth.

General

Reader mail

Shipping questions, event curiosity, age appropriateness. Send your note here.

contact@pattylanouestearns.com

You’ll usually hear back within a couple of work days, slower on the road or when a deadline’s eating the week.

Media

Press & interviews

Review copies, podcasts, and interviews. Include outlet name and your deadline.

contact@pattylanouestearns.com

Begin the subject line with Press.

Live

Book clubs & schools

In person or virtual visits, discussion materials, and volume pricing when available.

Propose a date range